Blind Date Or Blind Hate?
by WhatxStillxRemains
Summary: SSHG, A twist of fate with muggle blind date! Chapter 1 has been Updated!
1. Prologue

Severus P.O.V

It was a grey and dull morning at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. The birds had stopped singing, the whomping willow remained unusually still in the grounds, For once students must have actually listened to one of Argus Filtch, the caretaker, warnings and avoided the ancient tree. The lake remained still, slightly deeper as they had had months of heavy rain, but there wasn't a single ripple to be seen. All was calm outside.

However inside was another story and Severus Snape was absolutely fuming as he slowly made his way up to the head teacher's room. He had to keep avoiding small first year pupils which made him twice as mad, as they kept getting in his way. The thick stonewalls were a good containment for his anger as he thought of every hex under the sun he could use on Albus. Luckily most of the first years remained unscathed, apart from one small boy who had about 50 house points removed just because he was unfortunate enough to be on the stairs at the same time as Severus. Then as he eventually got to the head teachers corridor he nearly tripped over the carpet, that peeves had 'helpfully placed on the stairs'

"20 points away from hufflepuff" He mumbled to no one inpacticular. He didn't care how unfair that sentence was, hufflepuff were the type of idiots who thought peeves was just funny, not some vicious dark creature that should be shot, he wished peeves was still alive just so he could kill him again, in as many painful ways as physically possible.

He ran through the final narrow corridor as the portraits glared at him for disrupting their peaceful sleep, they were rarely disturbed in this corridor as Albus Dumbledore was quite quiet and left them well alone, unless he needed to ask them something. He almost tripped again, as he reached the Head teacher's great wooden door. He knocked so hard he almost broke it. And with a thud the door opened, leaving him tangled up in a heap on the cold stone floor. He took no time to get up and adjust himself to the surroundings. He lunged himself at Dumbledore screaming..

"You barmy old git! What the bloody hell have you done this for!?" Severus said shaking a red piece of parchment paper in front of Dumbledore's eyes. On closer inspection there were hearts all the way around the paper.

"Relax, dear boy, Its not good for your blood pressure being this uptight, besides I thought you deserved some fun in your life." he replied with a twinkle in his eyes

"Muggle blind date!," Severus was shouting, "how could you do this to me, I've always known you secretly have always hated me and were waiting to torture me with any means necessary, but THIS! Why didn't you just tell Voldemort I was working for the order so he could kill me to save you the bother!"

"Relax dear boy, no need to get irate, it will be good fun."

"Oh yeah, for who exactly? Not me for sure!"

"Yes. For you, now if you really don't mind I have work to be getting on with, I'm warning you.. if you don't go.. I will never speak to you again. And I'l let Gryffindor win the house cup."

That swayed it for Severus. He turned blue in the face, then an off shade of greeny purple, Then after a minute.

"Fine! I'l do it. But don't expect me to be happy about it!"

Severus then stalked out into the stone corridor, causing the portraits to wake from their sleep again; one of the knights boldly shook his fist at Severus as he went past. Causing Severus to swear so loudly at him, that he fled to another portrait.

' bloody lunatic', he said under his breath as he disappeared down the stairs, intending to hex any student with an unforgivable, that had the misfortune of being in his way.

Meanwhile...

Hermione's POV:

At the Burrow, the weather was slightly more pleasant than at Hogwarts, which never seemed to get the sun at it these days. The warming winter sun had come out from the clouds causing the birds to return to the trees. All around you in the garden, you could hear the clucking of chickens, giving the place a lovely hearty country hue to it.

The golden trio, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and Harry Potter, had left Hogwarts two years ago, and still remained perfectly good friends. Ron had asked Hermione out at the end of year seven however they had decided that they were better as friends. The war was over, finally, and Voldemort had been defeated, sadly with many losses both sides. Harry had finally started his Auror training, after he begged Albus Dumbledore to pass him in potions, even though Severus Snape had failed him miserably, Giving him a P, only two marks away from a T (troll). He even managed to scrape an E in Divinisation, but he suspected that was because of his inability to die when his professor had predicted his death. Hermione had managed to get an O in everything, even the boring history of magic, but had still not decided what career to peruse. She was currently working part time at a small second hand bookshop in Diagon alley.

Hermione was also as mad as Severus and fuming as she cast a bat bogey hex at Harry and Ron. She wasn't as good as Ginny at this hex (who having loads of brothers had plenty of practice hexing them!) They both dodged it easily, she also tried a leg locker curse, but as she was so angry, it failed, bouncing off and hitting a startled chicken. She was so angry she was hitting everything apart from Harry and Ron. She was tempted to hex them with an unforgivable, but even she wasn't _that_ angry.

"How could you do this to me, I'm your friend!" Hermione shouted after she couldn't think of anymore curses to yell at a sniggering Ron and Harry as she waved a letter in front of them

"You need some fun in your life. It's been years since you've been on a real live date, If you count that quiddich oaf Victor Krum, a date." Ron said, ready to dodge any more curses thrown at him.

"Yeah but not bloody blind date, I have some standards! "she said hitting Harry over the head with 'Hogwarts A History' As he was giggling the most.

"Nonsense Hermione, Your standards are so high I doubt any man would be able to measure up to them, Its not easy for us to be Smart as well as good looking! Anyway, you're be fine, your just being silly. And your enjoy it once you get there. By the way, You can't back out, it's a legally binding contract with this ITV person that Mr Weasley is so fond of."

"Arsehole" she said as she walked into the house, leaving them all outside to snigger at her outbursts.


	2. Question 1

_author note; Unbetaed and uninspired chapter, There is no point critiquing my spellings/ grammer on this as the only reason this is being written is some reviewers will not leave me be. Grats you win a chapter. I am not likely to update again in atleast another 8 months._

Hermiones POV;

Hermione turned up to the studios, feeling rather angry. The stormy clouds in the sky fitted in with her angry face perfectly. She was wearing a simple brown blouse and a pair of stonewashed jeans, in an attempt to look as scruffy as humanly possible. She did not want to be here, and was not attempting to make a single bit of effort whilst she was here. Even her hair was unbrushed, and she wasnt wearing her signature scent of perfume.

''how the bloody hell can they do this to me?'' she said to herself.

She stomped up the first 3 steps, feeling rather silly , and was quickly rushed in by a small elf when she had got up the stairs. 'Misses must hurry' the elf said as it issued her into a room which said, 'make up and powdering'

The second she was inside the door the door slammed, and her clothes dissapeared, she let out a suprised yell and tried her hardest to cover her modesty, not that it did any goood, as to her horror, three women ran in and grabbed her, pinning her onto the floor and issuing spells at her shocked face,she was suprised to feel her hair go puff, and straighten. her face was beautifully made up when they showed her it in the mirror. Her bvreasts were beautifuly accented in a low cut fishtail dress ,which hugged her curves.

The el freturned. ''Misses, its time to go, it is'' he said, his small fingers dragging her allong the hallway, leaving her stumbling as she tried to keep up in her 6" heels which had apperared on her feet.

Severus's P.O.V;

Severus stomped noisily along the halls of Hogwarts, Getting moreand more annoyed as every second passed. Finally sighing, he managed to knock the hat off of a small first year student with a casually casted cruciatus spell, which if it had hit the small boy, the concenquences could have been most severe. He then, feeling slightly smug with himself, apperated to the studios, to see how many illegal curses he could get away with there.

The second he entered the building however, his wand was cruely snatched from his hand, causing a steam of curse words to come streaming out of his mouth.

The show host motioned towards a pink fluffy seat for him to sit down on. At this point he nearly walked out, 'Think of the house cup' He told himself. He allowed himself to sit down in the pink monstrosity. A couple of rounds with Voldemort and the crucius curse would have been more preferable.

"Hello and good evening!

Behind these three doors are three mystery women that you will have to chose from by their answers alone! You will spend a night with the lucky lady that you win.

Batcholette number one! What's your name and Where do you come from?" The game show host said

"My name is…Daphne and I'm from Ireland" The first mysterious woman said.

"Batcholette number 2 what's your name and Where do you come from?"

My name is Hermione and I'm from London" A voice said with not very much enthusiasm at all.

That made Severus sit up. Hermione Granger? He thought No there must be another Hermione, she wouldn't go on something like this. 'Neither would you if you weren't forced into it!', a little voice inside him said.

"And finally Batcholette number 3 What's your name and Where do you come from?"

"My name is Minerva and I'm from Scotland!" a voice that was un missably Minerva McGonagall's.

Severus shuddered; the world was against him today! He knew for certain that he was not going to pick number 3 no matter what the other 2 were like. Anyone must be better than 3!

"Ok Severus, Please ask the women your first question". The show host said.

"Ok Daphne, What's your favourite spell and why?"

"Expelliamus. Because it's the only spell I can do".

Well, that puts her on par with Neville Longbottom on the intelligence factor. He thought.

"Hermione, What's your favourite spell and why?"

"The protego charm, because it is a useful charm that can easily be incorporated into everyday life."

Ok, she was good. He thought. Very good. It was at least Advanced level , to be able to understand the protego charm let alone carry it out.

"And finally, Minerva what's your favourite spell and why?"

"The wingadium Leviosa charm, as its something I seem to use every day".

Typical Minerva that was, a first year charm was her favourite!

Ok. Question 2 ..


	3. Question 2

Author note:

Just a small update, Its not long but its something.

Ok on with the story.

"What would be your ideal date and why?" He looked at the question, And felt like crucioing the games show host, if he had his wand with him, he was pretty sure the host would have exploded and turned into a huge lump of stinking cheese by now. Yes cheese, that summed them up perfectly. 'What is he playing at?' Severus thought! This wasn't one of my questions! If I'm forced into this at least they should have had the decency to have used my questions. 'Albus, I hope your ready to defend yourself from the hexes I'm going to throw at you!' He thought to himself.

"Question please" The game show host said, rolling his eyes slightly at having to prompt the contestants, He didn't know what was going on in this show, usually the contestants were gagging to be on the show, This Severus bloke really didn't seem to want to be there at all, he didn't seem like the usual contestant, He seemed quite intelligent and grounded rather than the usual nutty desperate people that ended up on these kind of shows, Usually alcoholics, Obsessive bodybuilders and Geeks were the type of people on the show.

"Ok Daphne, What would be your ideal date and why?" He said shuddering slightly at the stupid question, presuming that it was written by an 8 year old ratty haired ginger, who had probably never even seen a girl, let alone even knew what one was.

"Well, Lets see" He heard a slight giggle "It would have to be somewhere really romantic, Such as a walk on the beach at dusk, or a dance, no later though as I would have to be home at nightfall. I'm not allowed out that late"

Yes, she was a grand total of 10 years old, and rather mad, and very probably a squib, Severus had decided.

"Thank you Daphne,

Hermione, What would be your ideal date and why?"

She thought for a second, Her mind snapping back from her random thoughts of making pets out of eggboxes.. "Probably, a trip to a café or somewhere where it is easy to communicate and easy to make excuses from if the conversation gets too difficult, as on a first date it is ridiculous to do anything that doesn't involve talking to some degree, You want to know if your date is a nutter or not, especially if it involves meeting strangers on a TV program."

He heard a gasp from the audience; Obviously the contestants weren't meant to talk about how much they didn't want to be here. Well he couldn't think of much wrong with that answer really, It was the kind of thing he himself would come out with if he had any choice in the matter.

"Thank you Hermione,

Minerva, What would be your ideal date and why?"

"I'm not sure really, I don't go out on dates much as I work full time, Probably something fun like a convention on charms or wand less magic."

Yes he thought to himself that sounded so much _fun._ So much fun he could think of plenty of other things to be doing, like watching grass grow, with a slow motion charm on it, in the freezing cold. Oh yes his sarcasm in his own head was pretty damn good. He made a smug smile at the cameraboy, knowing full well that they were going to end up working at some boring place like macdonalds, not that he knew what macdonalds was, but from what he had heard, it was some secret hang out full of spotty , desiese ridden squibs.

''Ok question 3''..


End file.
